Dear Ruthie,
Why can’t men hit the bowl when peeing? What’s the problem? My husband is the worst where this is concerned. Sometimes, I think he’s trying to see exactly how little urine he can actually get in the bowl. Any advice?
—Yucky
Dear Mrs. Yuck,
I hear ya, sistah! Those particular guys are not only messy, but they’re horrible lovers. Think about it: If they can’t hit a hole the size of a toilet, how are they going to pinpoint your love button? In the dark no less? Next time, show him the mess and ask him to clean it up. He may not be aware of how bad the problem has become, particularly if you’re always cleaning it up.
Dear Ruthie,
Is it wrong that my husband hops in the bathroom, sits on the toilet and does his business while I’m in the shower? I say, “Yes.” He says, “No.”
Help!
Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
I say, “Ewww.” If he wants to drop the kids off at the pool, tell him to clench his cheeks until you’re out of the bathroom! If he truly needs to pinch off a loaf while you’re soaping up, tell him to run to the nearest gas station and give you a little privacy.
RUTHIE’S SOCIAL CALENDAR:
Jan. 18: Vinyl Potluck at Riverwest Public House Cooperative (815 E. Locust St.): Grab your 33s and 45s as well as a dish to pass and hit up this cool salute to classic tunes and hearty eats. Don’t have any vinyl records? Come anyway! Not a cook? Nobody cares! Join the 6-10 p.m. bash regardless. If you do bring either a record to play or a bite to eat, however, you’ll get a free raffle ticket for door prize drawings.
Jan. 18: Shrink ’n’ Drink at Red Dot Tosa (6715 W. North Ave.): Dr. Julie Helmrich offers up her hilarious brand of psychology during this live show. Grab a bite or cocktail (or both) as the good doctor answers your anonymously submitted questions. Part lecture, part stand-up and part talk show, it’s one (adults-only) night you don’t want to miss. The show starts at 6:30 p.m.
Jan. 19 & 20: Winter Gallery Night & Day at Historic Third Ward (Various Locations): Hit the streets…and galleries and stores! Get your artsy-fartsy on with this quarterly nod to hip findings in the Third Ward. Mix up your social calendar by seeing some art, meeting the artists, grabbing a cocktail (or five) and doing a little shopping. Visit historicthirdward.org for a list of participating venues, hours and more.
Jan. 20: Women’s March WI at Milwaukee County Courthouse (901 N. Ninth St.): Join thousands of women as they meet, march and rally to support the accomplishments of women of color in Wisconsin. The 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. rally is free and open to all. Let your voice be heard!
Jan. 20: Winter Quest at The Roundabout and Napalese Lounge (1351 Cedar St., Green Bay): Join the gang up nort’ when this statewide leather/Levi social club hosts a night of comradery for likeminded men. The $30 ticket includes a 6 p.m. reception at The Roundabout (1264 Main St., Green Bay) before the 8 p.m. banquet and drag show at Napalese Lounge. Registration is required via eventbrite.com. Shoot any questions to argoinfo@argonautsofwi.com.
Jan. 21: GAMMA Painting Party at Inspiration Studios (1500 S. 73rd St.): Want to meet people and make new friends? Join this popular LGBTQ athletic and recreational social club when they host a night of mingling and fun during a painting party. Your $35 ticket gives you all the materials (and lesson) needed to paint a winter scene as well as snacks and beverages. Swing by inspirationstudiosgallery.com for tickets or pay at the door when the 2 p.m. party begins.
Jan. 23: Plant and Sip at LuLu Café (2265 S. Howell Ave.): Grab a cocktail and create a terrarium at this change-of-pace mix and mingle. They supply the wooden planters, succulents and décor, you supply the fun! Tickets to the 7 p.m. event are $55 and can be found at plantnite.com.
Jan. 24: HamBingo with the Brew City Sisters at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): They’re kooky, they’re ooky and just a little spooky…but they’re also one of the most incredible (and colorful) fundraising groups in the city. They’re the Brew City Sisters, and they’re hosting a nutty bingo night at Hamburger Mary’s! Join the bawdy fun at 8 p.m. Call 414-488-2555 for reservations.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to follow her on Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).
