Latest Religious Messages
- David Cerullo, who came to prominence after purchasing the TV studiosabandoned by televangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, established one of theboldest of the many Christian "prosperity gospel" ministriesanenterprise that pays him an annual base salary of $1.52 million. Along with hisfather, semi-retired Pentecostal preacher Morris Cerullo, David assuresfollowers that the more they give, the more God will return to them. In arecent TV spot, Morris, speaking first in tongues and then addressing thecurrently credit-challenged, said: "When you (donate), the windows ofheaven are going to open for you." He also boasted about "debtcancellation” opportunities, with an on-screen message stating: "Call nowwith your $900 offering and receive God's debt cancellation!"
- In September, a judge in Stuart, Fla., was about to sentence pastorRodney McGill for real estate fraud when McGill addressed a courtroom prayerfor his enemies: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, for every witness called againstme, I pray cancer in their lives, lupus, brain tumor, pancreatic cancer."The judge then sentenced McGill to 20 years in prison.
Questionable Judgments
A Tuesday night event featuring cheap drinksat the Attic bar in Newcastle, England, in early September offered a money-backguarantee at the end of the night to anyone who could still legally drive (asmeasured by the bar's breathalyzer). Also, the evening's most-alcohol-saturatedcustomer would be allowed free entry to the event the following week. TheNewcastle City Council soon convinced the bar that the event was a bad idea.
Bright Ideas
Four people in their early 20s were arrestedin September in Bennington, Vt., after a Chili's restaurantburglar alarm sounded at 4:30 a.m. According to police, the four intended toremove and steal the large chili pepper on the restaurant's rooftop sign, usinga hacksaw and power drill. However, they did not possess a battery-operateddrill, so they had to string extension cords together in order to reach thenearest outlet they could find, which was 470 feet awayacross a four-lane roadand through a Home Depot parking lot.
Least Competent Criminals
Failure to Keep a Low Profile: (1) AngelDeLeon, 30, admitted to police in May that he was the one who had recentlyrobbed the National Penn Bank in Reading, Pa., even though that wasn't thereason for his arrest. DeLeon was originally arrested after a police officersaw him speed past with his radio blaring. DeLeon tried to escape the chasingofficer but was caught. (2) Ricky Dale Ford was jailed in September in Conway, Ark.,after being accused of escaping from jail and then stealing an all-terrainvehicle. While allegedly joy riding, Ford accidentally hit a beehive, and whenpolice found him in nearby woods, he was "barely breathing," havingbeen stung more than 100 times, one officer said.
Undignified Deaths
Ironies: (1) A 77-year-old woman in Heaton Mersey, England, who was described byfriends as an enthusiastic shopper, lived in a home that was crammed to theceiling with purchases. When the woman died of natural causes in January, rescuersmade three passes through the clutter over the course of two days beforelocating her body under stacks of goods that had fallen on her. (2) A45-year-old devout Catholic was killed recently in Vienna, Austria,shortly after a harrowing experience on a stuck elevator. The man had been sotraumatized by the elevator incident that, following his rescue, he wentstraight to the Weinhaus Church to give thanks.However, as he approached the altar, an 850-pound stone pillar fell and crushedhim.
Fetishes on Parade
In September, police in Bonney Lake, Wash.,were seeking a man who allegedly had been hanging around the high school,trying to befriend male athletes. In the most recent incident, it was reportedthat the man tried to lure a boy to the library after offering to help with acollege interview, but when the boy declined and walked away, the man jumped onhis back and asked for a piggyback ride.
© 2009 Chuck Shepherd
