A team of anglers from Hatteras, N.C.,had first place wrapped up in the prestigious Big Rock Blue Marlin Tournamentin June. They were salivating over their $1.2 million prize money (including abonus for what would have been a tournament-record catch) when judgesdiscovered that one member of the Hatteras crew, Peter Wann, had not gotten a$30 North Carolina coastal recreational fishing license before their boatpushed off that day. Under the rules, the entire team was disqualified, and therunner-up, from Cape Carteret, N.C., received the money instead.
Least Competent Criminals
(1) Justin Johnson, 21, was arrested in Bloomfield, Ind.,in July after failing to get a branch of the Bloomfield State Bank to cash hisbogus check for $1 million, which he presented to a teller in the bank'sdrive-through window. Optimistic that his plan would succeed, Johnson hadhanded over his driver's license for ID along with the check. (2) Scot Davis,52, was charged with robbing the All in the Family bar in Des Moines, Iowa,in March. Davis, a contractor who is known to bartender Gladys York, had spentthe evening at the bar passing out business cards before leaving. When Davis reappeared carrying a .22-caliber rifle and demandingmoney, Yorksaid, "Scot, what the (expletive)?" As an officer explained,"This is not the hardest case our detectives have ever had toinvestigate."
The Continuing Crisis
- They Don't Make "Drug Lords" Like They Used To: (1) Widelyfeared Jamaican drug kingpin Christopher Coke was arrested in June andextradited to New York City after allegedly being picked up wearing women'sclothes and a 1970s-style Afro wig too small for his head (with a pink wig onstandby).
- Charmed Lives: (1) Recently while visiting her childhood home ofBishop, Texas, Joan Ginther won a Texas lottery drawing for the fourth time,taking home a $10 million first prize to lift her career Texas lottery winningsto $20.4 million. (By this time, she had already moved to Las Vegas.) (2) At the other end of thespectrum, British farmworker Mick Wilary, 58, was hospitalized in April aftermachinery crushed both his legs. According to the Daily Telegraph, Wilary, who is frequently kicked by livestock, hasalso had his ankles broken (twice), ribs cracked, finger cut off, head splitopen, collarbone broken and fingers broken. He has also been stabbed.
Thinking Large
Northern Ireland farmer William Taylor recently introduced his prototype Livestock PowerMill and claimed that the world's 1.3 billion cattle, using treadmills foreight hours a day, could produce 6% of the world's electricity requirements. (Taylor's inventionrequires the cow to keep walking to avoid sliding down an incline.)
Perverts on Parade
(1) James Burden, 55, was convicted ofindecent exposure in Scotland's Falkirk Sheriff Court in June based on a Marchincident in which a neighbor looked out her window before dawn and saw Burden,naked, smoking a cigarette and masturbating while bouncing on her family'soutdoor trampoline. Burden said he did not know anyone would be watching atthat hour. (2) In New Zealand's Auckland District Court in June,Judge Mary Beth Sharp dismissed an elderly male juror from a trial involvingsexual abuse because the man disclosed, under questioning, that he had worn acondom under his clothes in the jury box because the testimony was making himaroused.
© 2010 Chuck Shepherd
