I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, way too busy here to pump out an essay for you’s. With trick-or-treat for the kids this weekend, I got a boatload of potatoes to peel for the mashed potatoes and gravy I like to pass out when they come knocking.
Of course, I also like to pass out advice to the costumed kids along with my healthy treat. My two favorite perennial pearls of wisdom being “Never, ever mix good booze with soda” and “Get a job and buy your own focking candy.”
And speaking of advice, I’ve got some for the American electorate whose “trick-or-trick” experience comes next Tuesday, Nov. 2. One word for you’s:
VOTE!
Got it? No excuses. Vote for the knoblin of your choice. And what the fock, if you’re out of work it’ll give you something to do. And don’t forget, voting won’t cost you a dimeyet. Of course, if big business and rich guys keep getting away without paying taxes, it’s only a matter of time ’til they slap a user fee on the ballot box (and an extra charge for your registration license), and the more dough you can shell out, the more times you get to vote. God bless America.
So vote now while it’s still focking free and open to any Tom, Dick or Dickless from sea to shining sea, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
